Best way to respond to angry parents | spouse in Islam

Admit it or not, when somebody hurts us, we don't feel good and sometimes may feel the urge to respond to them in the same way. 

Sometimes, a little difference of opinion between two people leads to an unwanted consequence like separation/divorce between husband and wife, disrespect to parents, or even worse, physical violence.

Quran suggests the best tip

Anger is a very harmful emotion as it not only hurts the person it is aimed at, but the real victim is the one who expresses it. It is common for us to be annoyed by our family members, parents, fathers, mothers, friends, relatives and employers/bosses  as our social life is designed in such a way that we have to deal with other humans on a regular basis in our day-to-day lives. 

We have to pay attention to the advice Islam gives us in situations where we find ourselves at the "receiving end" and feel hurt by someone else's actions or words. 

The fact is, God loves those who control their anger and forgive others even when their anger is justified.

Consider this verse

Those who spend [in Allah's Cause - deeds of charity, alms, etc.] in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers) - Surah Al e Imran, verse 134 

Controlling anger is the best response

This is the best possible response to irritating people. Instead of hurling anger back at annoying people, we are advised by Allah to let go and even forgive them. 

Besides Quran, hadiths from Prophet Mohammad (SAW) also shed light on how important it is to keep ourselves from getting frustrated and angry. 

When you are hurt by your family 

This is intense and gets even more serious. When you get bothered by someone outside your family, you somehow manage to overcome the negative feelings and let go with time. 

But when the hurt is coming from your own mother, father, siblings or spouse, it gets hard to keep your cool. You have to learn how to fight off anger coming from one of your family members. 

Also read: What type of people deserve Allah's curse? 

How to practically implement this verse in real life?

Whenever someone hurts or bothers you mentally or verbally, these points below should come to your mind and help you regain your composure:

• Everything happens by the will of God and the person expressing their anger is using their free will. They are taking their test and you are taking yours so that Allah can see who is better and closer to Him.
• A big reward is for those who not only control their anger but also forgive.  
• Annoying person is actually a victim as they have no control over their emotions.
• Their lack of control over their own mind and emotions force them to annoy others so they deserve sympathy or even better, forgiveness.
• Your forgiving them will quickly change their vibrations.
• When you control anger and let go, you actually block the other person from invading your mental territory as they now have no control over your emotions. (You build a firewall around your mind when you do that).