How To Spot Narcissist Within Your Circle or Relationship

It is easy to spot a narcissist within your friends or family's circle unless you are one yourself.  The narcissists are the most easily identifiable people on earth for their some very visible and strong personality traits. Read our post on signs of a narcissist to know the basic traits/signs of a narcissist.  In this post, we will shed light on how narcissist behave when in a relationship and the tactics they employ to manipulate you. Narcissists are known by these very obvious traits: self-grandeur,  self-entitlement, and manipulative tactics aimed at self-gain, among many others. 

If you are an empath and in a relationship with a narcissist, you are already in tough spot. The empaths and narcissist never go along well like fire and water don't mix. There are some very manipulative techniques that every narcissist uses in a relationship. You can save yourself and your partner, if you know you are in fact dealing with a narcissist. The traits and tactics of narcissist written below are universal. 

1-Gaslighting  Gaslighting is a very common tactic employed by narcissists to manipulate their partners to their own advantage. Gaslighting, by definition, is a psychological technique that aims at growing doubt and fear about one's own sanity, mental health and perception of reality. For example, your partner might sow seed in your mind to the extent that you start questioning your very existence, thoughts, beliefs and actions. This confusion fuels their narcissism and encourage them to keep manipulating you. Once you start questioning yourself, you have already falling into their trap of increasing and exercising more power over you. 
They execute the gaslighting tactics by similar behavioral pattern such as denying everything you said to them and backtracking from every fact and explanation you did with them to save the relationship.  They start telling you on your face that you should not be feeling like this (questioning yourself) but at the same time wishing that you continue with this behavior. 

2-Love Bombing Love bombing is another tactic that narcissists employ. They would make you feel extremely loved and secure by taking you out for shopping and giving you pleasant gifts every now and then. They would tell you how they cannot even imagine a life living without you. Once you are filled in, its only then they start showing their real face. They will discourage you from coming very close to them mentally. With the passage of time, their romance will keep fading away into nothing but a thing of past.  If your partner is love bombing you noticeably, it is time to rethink your response because it might be just another ploy woven by a narcissist. 

3-Triangulation This is another psychological tactic that narcissist use to put you in a deep messy spot. Using the triangulation tactic, a narcissist would try to disrupt and manipulate the flow of the relationship. For example, they might introduce another lover to you or start heaping praise on another person just to make you feel uncomfortable and jealous. At first, you might mistake it for an effort to make you love them more but in fact it is all aimed at controlling you, not loving you.  The narcissist would feed off your insecurity, jealousy and would never like to have smooth relationship. 

4-Ignoring You  The narcissist would ignore you intentionally to keep you always on toes. They would never want you to be stable because stability and smooth relationship is something that defies their own existence. They would often devalue you as a person and your contribution to keeping the relationship alive and intact. 

5-Smear Campaigns  This is the worst tactic of all. They would keep your reputation and respect within your circle in jeopardy by launching calculated and sometimes aggressive smear campaigns. They would tell your friends/family members how bad a person you are in private. They will not respect your privacy and even might share information with other people just to let you down. 
6-Hoovering Hoovering is also the most common weapon launched by a narc to throw you off-balance and live in constant worry. A narcissist would try all their best to keep you in an abusive relationship. Even if you have escaped it once, they will set up a new trap to let you fall into their schemes--by hoovering.  They will do it with a pretentious and self-assuring attitude but the end goal is always one: keeping you in the loop of a manipulative/abusive relationship. 
What To Do Now After You Have Spotted a Narcissist?
Now that you have a spotted a narcissist in your relationship, it is time to protect yourself, your identity, self-respect and most of all: life. We are here in this world for few years and life is too short to continue the suffering caused by a narcissist. 
At the same time, it is also a fact that narcissist are also humans and they have a choice to change themselves for better. First, protect yourself from their tactics and subtly convince them into seeking psychological help. Some of the narcissist would give in while majority won't. If you find out you are in a relationship with a narcissit who would not change themselves for you, consider cutting off the relationship altogether. You deserve better treatment and partner!