Dua-prayer tips: Accept reality (qadr) as it is

Dua tips: Accept qadr or reality - the first step 

Most of the times our duas and prayers are not answered due to this one big reason: We don't accept reality (qadr/taqdeer) as it is. We don't accept our situation and start blaming things outside of us (blaming external factors like other people, time, luck, lack of money and resources, etc).

When we don't accept reality (no matter how negative it may seem at the moment):
- We forget the fact that Allah had power and the right to make the situation a lot worse than it is right now.
- We forget the bitter fact that we are not "special" as much worse could have happened (imagine the temperature on Earth getting hotter than usual as it is possible and can happen).

- We make the mistake of not accepting our qadr
- We let Allah know that we are selfish and thankless as we only feel good and thankful to the Lord when good things happen to us. But when bad things happen, we love to complain (Allah has talked about this negative human behaviour in Quran)

- We comes across as impatient, ungrateful and selfish who is always bent on his/her interest

- We tend to complain about others and external factors

- We act stubborn and unreliastic

Accepting reality is surrendering your self/ego and Islam is all about surrender.

When we accept reality, we stop trying to control life and its events. When we stop trying to control life, we send a very positive message to the Creator that we are ready to learn, raise awareness, be patient, be appreciative of the present gifts and blessings and be open to receiving more gifts.

Most of the times, little problems can be solved by just little hard-work, focus and determination, but there are times when life seems beyond control. That is when accepting reality-as-it-is does the trick and it creates miracles.

Accepting reality makes us a grateful person as we stop complaining about what's not right at the moment. Your problem may be real, but complaining about it or even worrying about fixing it does not put us in a stronger position. 

Our ego definitely gives us the false illusion of being in a strong position when we try to control reality or situation. It make us happy or reinforce our trust in our ego or self-confidence. But what if the problem you are trying to control is beyond your capability? Maybe your financial problem was caused by some serious lack, blockages (sins, mistakes, wasting time, cursing wealth or rich people). What then? Would you then be able to successfully control your situation and make things work? Never. All your efforts will go to waste (we see it happen to people everyday) and it will be like trying to stop a storm with just wishful thinking, which never happens.

Physical reality cannot be controlled by wishful thinking.   

Gratitude is all about appreciating, acknowledging and focusing on the present moment, present gifts and finding positive in seemingly unwanted present outcomes. Keep in mind, gratitude is not about receiving gifts and feeling joy - it is about appreciation and acceptance.

How to accept reality as it is?

By dwelling on the fact that Allah/God/Creator (universe, nature) does not owe you anything. So why act like a selfish kid? You could have been put through much worse situations without your will. Universal laws goverened by the Lord are so strict that they work with one-hundred percent certainty.

Think that you are not entitled (deserving) - only Allah is. Entitlement mindset fools us into believing that we must get what we desire and when that desire does not get fulfilled, we react. Shaitan too showed an entitled mindset that caused him to be expelled from jannah and become an enemy to the Most Merciful Allah.

Think that worse things occur to people who are better than you. So stop spending time complaining and start spending time appreciating Allah for not putting you in a worse condition. Remember Allah is Appreciative (Shakur). He appreciates us when we appreciate Him and His workings/blessings/favours/power of creation/mercy.

Think that situation could have gotten much worse, but thankfully it didn't get worse  

What happens when we accept reality as it is

- We appreciate the Creator by thanking Him that He could have put us in a worse situation, but He didn't -

- We

- We become more realistic by looking at the situation/reality as it is, which eventually attract right ideas and solution to our problems.

- We accept our own lack and mistakes (sins, crimes, negative conduct), and this mercy from the Lord.